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We've
come here today from all over America and Europe to make a valentine for Sam,
and the timing is somehow right, since he operated as an empowering saint
in the lives of so many of us.
I first met Sam, in 1978,
at the Saint Lawrence Writers Conference, and he has functioned as an angel
in my life ever since. Sam was an artist at what he did, and he understood
what artists need. "You're a real writer," he said to me on the phone, "Bring
your stories to Boston." We planned the publication of BLACK TICKETS together
in Mendocino, with Sam put up in some spectacular digs and me arriving in
my dented Nova on a weekend break from my first teaching job. Somehow we ended
up in an old graveyard by the sea at dusk, with fog and gold light swirling
around Sam's walking stick, and he looked at me seriously and said, "You're
a witch." At that moment something sparkled across a stone, moving fast, and
he said, "Look, look, a wizard! I mean a lizard!" He became 'the Wizard,'
and his letters to me began, Dear Witch. He really was in it for the magic.
Writing was alchemy, and publishing was the prayer that carried the words.
He quoted me as saying,
"Sam and I found each other," but I think that statement is representative
of how Sam viewed all his relationships with writers. He chose his writers
very carefully, and when he committed to our work, he committed for life,
and beyond death. He loved us, he took care of us, he yelled at us, he drank
with us, he phoned us, daily sometimes, with all the news of the latest foreign
sale, swank dinner, advertising budget, he gossiped with us, he ate and drank
with us in inimitable Sam style, a style that said, 'We're wonderful, and
the work we're trying to do is wonderful, and will endure,
like this wine.' He argued with us, he apologized, sometimes, with an engaging,
slightly
chastened dignity, he was patient and forbearing. Romance might waver, domestic
arrangements collapse, but Sam was steadfast; he helped us in ways our families
could
not. He did what only he could do: he sustained our spirits, even as he made
money for
us, and for himself, with utter glee. All that was a lovely game and a passionate
life, he
loved life, he loved good food and beautiful places and English suits and
privilege. He
insisted on privilege, yet he said to me more than once, "It doesn't matter
where you
come from. Katharine Ann came from Indian Creek, Texas, she came from nowhere.
It
doesn't matter where you come from, it matters what you do; that's why we
live in this
country."
He lived life on his
terms, with a kind of crazy bravery. I think of him at ABA in a wheelchair,
with a nurse to change the bandages on his bleeding foot. Threatened, he worked.
He worked harder. He worked in bed with his papers strewn all around him.
We talked about the December sales conference at Houghton. "Should I walk
in with the crutches, or should I just be seated at the table when they all
walk in? Better if I'm sitting down already, don't you think? Less of a big
deal." Faced with his own illness, his own mortality, he was amazingly brave
in dealing with us, his writers, like a parent whose first thought is to protect
the children. He made himself a myth about Ahab, the swashbuckling publishing
pirate, and the voice on the phone was always strong, he was always making
progress, he was the star of rehab, he was planning to come along on that
upcoming European pub tour, which country should it be? And he convinced us.
We'd all been concerned about Sam. But when we got the call from Joan, his
much loved companion, or from Camille, his long-time assistant and ally, or
from Tom, who was with Sam in Florida, the news -- that such an undaunted
heart could stop -- was unbelievable. The day he died, he dictated a letter
to me from his hospital bed, and he ended it -Love and best wishes for a Great
and Glorious '94, the Wizard of Boca Grande.
His was a glorious faith.
His belief in us was unconditional, because writing is not founded on conditions.
He stood as an elegant bulwark between the writer and the corporation, the
writer and the reviews, good or bad, between the writer and self-doubt. He
cheered our every endeavor, he railed against our enemies, he told us jokes,
he danced with us, he published work that inspired us to work, he repeated
our best conversational lines to one another as evidence of our immense stature
and the crazy vagaries of the writer's circumstance. He made us a kind of
family. And beyond all that, he influenced the course of American literature.
Writing was a life, not a career. Publishing was a calling, not a job. He
was fiercely uncompromising. He was bull-headed in support of us. He laughed
with us, he comforted us.
And having worked with
him will continue to comfort us, to gird us for battle with the darkest days
of his absence. For me, those days will be many. I met him as a nearly unpublished
25-year-old; he was the benefactor and constant of my writing life. He was
my friend, through the deaths of my parents and the births of my children.
He waited, without complaint, six years for my new book, with never a break
in letters, calls, or lunches at the Ritz.
Finally, I phoned him
from MacDowell last summer and said, "Sam, I'm packing the car to go home.
Today's my birthday and I finished the book."
"Perfect!" he shouted.
"I love you!" He promptly dispatched two dozen roses to Boston. He loved
the book, but he didn't love the title. Titles came and went over the next
few weeks. Finally he said to me, "You've got to let go of this goddamn
book. You're driving everyone crazy. I have the title."
"Well --" I said.
"Listen carefully,"
he said. "It's one word."
There was silence on
the line.
"SHELTER," Sam said,
with that hesitation that crept into his speech, "may we all . . . find
some."
I felt a little scared,
like a shadow had come between us. He'd been in and out of the hospital,
but I hadn't known, until that moment, how scared I was of losing Sam. I
couldn't quite breathe.
He took my silence
for indecision. "It's ominous, he said, "it's mysterious. It's like an offering."
So, Sam, a thousand hearts
in this valentine. But today is not our only offering. You don't die while
we're alive. In the act of writing, we celebrate you. In reading each other,
we celebrate your vision. All of us in this room, in supporting, producing,
selling, editing, literary American fiction, protect what you protected, and
we honor you.
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